Progress
by LoveableKat
Summary: Violet, Robert and Cora during the time of grief for Sybil. No copyright infringement intended. All characters and the story belong to Julian Fellowes. I'm probably off on the timeline, but this is how it fits the story I want to tell.
1. Violet

Violet

She has never been so sad in her life. She was almost as sad when her husband died, because she did love him, but his death had been predictable. Some illnesses are fatal.

Matthew and Mary left an hour ago, an hour she spent getting dressed in her mourning clothes by her lady's maid. She had known that something terrible must have happened the moment she looked at them. She has never seen Mary looking so pale or Matthew looking so helpless. "The baby is healthy and Sybil is dead", Mary said.

It has just hit her like pang that her youngest grandchild has died before her. She thought she would never have to bury a grandchild. She feared that she might have to bury Robert when he was in South Africa, but even then she had been quite certain that that wouldn't happen.

When she comes into the sitting room and sees the empty faces of her son and his wife, her heart breaks for both of them. She is sure that this is the worst she has ever felt for anyone. She does what she can, she quietly offers her son to take care of the funeral arrangements, she is sure that Matthew will help her. She offers her daughter-in-law sympathy but Cora is beyond tears and doesn't want her help anyway. "You don't know what I feel. No child of yours is dead." She knows that Cora is right and she has never been so thankful for her children being alive, all three of them, because although she would never openly admit to it, she counts Cora among them.

Six weeks later she knows she can feel even worse than that for someone else. Her son, her dear boy, is in her sitting room this time and he looks so lost and defeated when he tells her that his wife doesn't talk to him. He says that his wife is grieving her daughter and her marriage, but she knows he is grieving just as much, especially his marriage. In a paradoxical twist, she wishes she was more like her daughter-in-law who she knows would hug her child in a situation like that, but she can't do it because she doesn't know how to. She calls him "my dear boy" and tries to make him understand how sorry she feels for him, but she isn't sure she is successful.

After he leaves she hopes that he doesn't tell Cora that she should go away. It was stupid of her to suggest that Cora go to America, but she is just as helpless as her son.

She goes to the Abbey for dinner. She is early as usual and she hopes to be able to talk to either Cora or Robert or maybe even both of them, but she is greeted by Mary and Matthew who seem to have taken over all duties that usually lie with the Earl and Countess of Grantham. Dinner is uncomfortable at best. Robert hardly says anything, Cora only says things to hurt Robert, Edith and Tom say nothing at all and Mary and Matthew try to make conversation but fail. Cora excuses herself right after dinner and leaves and she can see the looks of exasperation on Mary's and Matthew's faces. Apparently this is a daily routine now. She corners Robert a little while later and asks him if things have gotten any better and he tells her that they have gotten worse. She can see the tears he is trying to hide and she wishes to God she could help. She briefly considers going after Cora, considers asking her to make things better between her and Robert, but she knows that Cora will take this as criticism and so she leaves her be.

She hopes that Dr. Clarkson will do what she asked him to do. It is her last hope. It physically hurts her to see her son and his wife so unhappy. She writes them a note and asks them to come to her house and she knows that Cora will feel summoned and be obstinate, but there is nothing she can do about it.

When she tells Cora that what Dr. Clarkson has to say might change her view of things and she answers back like and insolent child, she wants to take her and shake her, and tell her that she has to get out of her misery, has to find a way to forgive Robert.

She listens to Dr. Clarkson and watches both Robert and Cora and she can see in their faces that they want him to say that Sybil would have died anyway because that would save their marriage. When he finally does say it, she turns away to give her son and daughter-in-law some space and when she hears their muffled sobs she knows that they cry both out of grief and relief.

She watches them from a window after they have said their goodbyes. She can see Cora turning to Robert and him nodding. He walks over to the driver and the car leaves without them. They walk back to the house, her sons arm around his wife's shoulder and her arm around his waist. They are guiding each other home.


	2. Robert

Robert

He listens to Dr. Clarkson's words and hopes beyond reason that he will say that Sybil would have died even if she had undergone an operation. It would make things so much easier, and his little girl is gone and won't come back and having that nagging thought that it might have been his fault, that his daughter could have been saved, at the back of his head is driving him mad.

Although that is nothing compared to what his wife does to him. She openly blames him; she ridicules him in front of their daughters, sons-in-law and his mother, but that doesn't matter in light of the fact that she has not only shut him out of their bedroom but also out of her heart and that isn't driving him mad, it is killing him. He isn't angry with her, how could he be. He knows she's hurting more than she's ever hurt before and she needs to put the blame somewhere and she's chosen him because he was a ready target.

When Dr. Clarkson finally says the words and leaves, he turns around and looks at her. He can see a mixture of grief and relief on her face. He walks towards her and puts his arms around her. For a few seconds she is motionless but then she starts to sob uncontrollably and clings to him as if he was the only thing that could keep her upright and he realizes that he probably is, both literally and figuratively. He starts to cry too and they stay like that for undefined amount of time. When, finally, Cora has calmed herself to hiccupping, they move apart to find his mother still standing in the same room. She has turned their back to them but now turns around to look at them. He gives her small smile and she acknowledges it with a nod. They say their goodbyes and leave.

Once they are outside his wife turns to look at him. "Would you like to walk home?" she asks. It's the first time she's spoken to him without a tone of accusation and bitterness in her voice ever since the day that Sybil died. It's been over ten weeks. He nods and sends the driver on his way. When he turns back to her she smiles at him and closes her eyes for a second and he puts his arm around her shoulder. She puts her arm around his waist and without saying another word they start to walk home.

He would like to talk to her but he is afraid that the peace between them is too fragile for him to say anything yet. He wants her to take the lead in this, because although he is hurting just as much as she is, he thinks that she has the right to do things in her own time, no matter how long that may take. They walk in silence for some time, but eventually she stops and faces him. She hasn't let go of him yet and he takes this as a good sign. "Robert, I", she says and she doesn't get any further because she starts to cry again. He holds her to him and lets her cry and suppresses the urge to tell her that everything will be all right, because no matter how much he might wish for everything to be all right, he isn't sure yet whether they will ever reach that point. She stops crying and says "I'm sorry", and he answers "don't be", although he has no idea whether she is sorry for ruining his jacket with her tears, or for having cried, or for anything or everything else. He walks her back to the house and because he sees how exhausted she is, he takes her to their room. He wants to ring for her lady's maid but when he sees that she is dead on her feet he just takes the pins out of her hair himself and helps her out of her clothes and corset. He's done this more times than he can count, so he doesn't need her direction and they don't speak a single word. He leads her to their bed, takes of the blankets, waits for her to lie down and tucks her in. Her eyes close before her head is on her pillow and she mumbles something that sounds like "thank you", so he kisses her forehead and tells her to sleep tight. She is asleep before he has left the room.

After he has gotten changed for dinner a few hours later he decides to see how she is doing. Because he is sure that she is still asleep he just opens the door between their rooms and is rather shocked when he sees that she is up and almost dressed for dinner. "I'm so sorry; I thought you were still asleep", he says and she answers "I woke up and got changed." "You are stating the obvious", he says in a slightly teasing tone and dearly wishes that he hadn't the moment the words have left his mouth. But when he sees her smile at his comment he smiles too. "I'll see you downstairs", he says and leaves.

Because it is just them, their daughters, and sons-in-law for dinner that night, he dispenses with any seating arrangements and sits next to her. She smiles at that too and although she doesn't say anything, he is almost sure that things are about to get better. Dinner is more comfortable that night than it has been in weeks. The conversation is mainly carried by Matthew, Mary and surprisingly Tom, but they stay clear of controversial topics. He is almost sure that Mary has told Matthew and probably also Tom and Edith to stay on save subjects and he is thankful for it. They don't split after dinner but go to the drawing room together. Mary and Matthew have moved on to talking about literature, and as usual they argue opposite points. He sometimes wonders whether they do this on purpose. He voices this thought to Cora and she looks at him incredulously and says "Of course they do. That's who they are. They love to argue. They haven't stopped arguing since 1912." "Well, if it makes them happy", he mumbles. "I'd rather do other things." "I'm sure they do other things as well, just not in public", Cora says and he can't help but laugh at this. He only realizes a few minutes later what he has said, but Cora seems unperturbed and he doesn't give it a further thought.

They go upstairs rather early and after having gotten changed he wonders whether he should go to her or stay in his room. He doesn't want to ruin the little progress they've made, but he is tired of being so estranged from his wife. He decides to go to her, if only to say good night. When he opens the door to their room he sees that her lady's maid has already left and he is glad about that. "I just came to say goodnight", he says. "Goodnight", she says and smiles a little. He turns to leave and is almost through the door when he hears her. "Robert, stay". He turns around and looks at her. "Please?" she asks. He only nods because the lump in his throat stops him from speaking. He sits down on their bed next to her and pulls her close to him.


	3. Cora

Cora

She isn't sure whether she wants her husband to come to their room or not. She is incredibly relieved that it wasn't his fault after all that their youngest daughter died, but she doesn't really know how to deal with this yet. And while she hopes that Robert won't be angry with her for accusing him so unjustly and treating him so horribly in the process, she isn't sure that he _won't_ be angry. He certainly has every right to be and she knows that her treatment of him was despicable. She needs to, wants to apologize for it. But when she tried that afternoon she just broke down in tears again and she doesn't know how helpful that was.

When he opens the door to their room and tells her that he only wants to say goodnight, relief and disappointment wash over her simultaneously. She makes a spur-of-the-moment decision and asks him to stay. The look on his face is full of emotions and she wants to belief that love is predominant, but she knows that this is wishful thinking. When he sits down next to her and pulls her close it is the first time since their daughter's death that she feels something besides sadness. She almost starts to cry again but decides to pull herself together. "I am sorry", she says. "So very sorry. For everything. I shouldn't have blamed you and I shouldn't have been so horrible to you. The things I said", "The things you said were hurtful, yes", he interrupts her. "But you were hurt too. Let's leave it at that." "What?" she asks. "Let's leave it at that. We were both hurt by our daughter's death and we didn't react very well to it. But how do you react well to something so horrible?" "I don't know. Maybe by not ruining your marriage." He replies by making a non-committal sound. "That's what I have done", she says and she can see that he is fighting tears. "No", he chokes out. "You haven't ruined it completely." "Haven't I?" she asks. "No. You haven't. Because I still love you." She looks at him and sees sadness, desperation and hope on his face. In that moment she realizes that she wants them to be happy again. To be done with fighting and crying and not speaking to each other. "I love you too", she says and she knows it's the truth. She sees him smile through his tears and knows that he wants to be done with it too. They kiss, only fleetingly, but for that one second she is happy again.

"I thought about going to America", she says. "Did you? Did my mother suggest that to you?" he asks. "No. Why?" "Because she suggested it to me. Don't get mad at her, I think she genuinely thought it would do you good. To go see your mother." "Well, that's kind then", she answers and not for the first time she wonders if Violet cares about her more than she lets on. "So are you going to go? To America?" "No. I don't think so. I didn't want to go the see my mother. I wanted to go to _not_ see you. But I've changed my mind. I want to see you. So I would have to take you with me. And we _would _have to go see my mother. We both know how much joy that would bring to you." "She is too American for me, Cora. I'm sorry." "Don't be. She's too American for me." He chuckles at this and she grins. "If you want to though, I'll go with you. I can stand your mother in small doses." "No. I'd rather be home, I think. And I am really not keen on being sea sick for five consecutive days. Twice. Because we'd have to go back too. I don't do well on ships." "No you don't. Not at all." She sees that he can't help but laugh at this, no matter how hard he tries not to. She finds it rather endearing and has to laugh herself.

"Are we ready for this?" she asks. "Ready for what?" "Laughing like that? Isn't it too early?" "No. If we think that we are ready to laugh again, then so be it. That doesn't mean that we don't miss her anymore. I miss her all the time but the pain is getting duller. And it's been over three months." "I've missed this. Talking to you. Being with you." She sees him smile at this and feels him pulling her closer again. "Me too. I thought I'd lost you and that hurt as much as losing Sybil", he says to her. She looks at him and realizes how much she has hurt him and what she has put him through. She actively pushed him away, it was her decision. But he has had to live with it all the same. She thinks about apologizing again but remembers that he has asked her to leave it be. So she kisses him instead and tells him that she loves him. She thinks he understands what she wants to say, because he kisses her back as if to accept her final apology and she drifts off to sleep again.

She wakes up early next morning because her husband is snoring so loudly beside her that she wonders if Mary and Matthew can hear it on the other side of the house. She considers waking him, but she thinks that just like her, he has probably gotten something that comes close to a decent night's sleep for the first time in weeks. Because she is awake anyway, she decides that she will get up for breakfast. She has spent enough time coped in her room and she knows that it'll probably make her husband happy.


	4. Violet II

Violet

It's been five days since Dr. Clarkson talked to Robert and Cora and she's invited to dine at the Abbey. She is a little apprehensive because she doesn't really know how things are between her son and his wife, although Mary and Matthew, who have turned visiting her into a daily routine, say that things have become better.

She arrives early as usual and Carson tells her that both his lordship and her ladyship are in the library. She follows him when he announces her and she sees them sitting on the sofa together, a lot closer than propriety allows, for the split of a second before Robert literally jumps up to greet her. She thinks he looks like a guilty school boy who has been caught stealing pies from the kitchens and is about to be told off. She doesn't know whether to be happy or indignant about this, so she doesn't say anything, a feat she is rather proud of. Robert moves to the other sofa to sit down again and she sees the look that Cora gives him. It is a mixture of saying _You are a fool for doing this_ and _I love you_ at the same time. Apparently things have gotten much better.

Neither Cora nor Robert say much during dinner, though she isn't sure whether they just don't want to talk or are having one of their silent, private conversations that they can have across a whole room. Considering how often they look at each other the second possibility isn't unlikely. Dinner is a pleasant, if slightly boring affair. Mary and Edith are entertaining Tom and Matthew by telling them stories about how they used to hide from some governess they didn't like. All four of them talk about Sybil quite freely and she is glad that they are healing.

When the men join the women in the drawing room later on, she notices that her son sits down next to his wife and that he takes Cora's hand immediately. "So you have reverted to your public and improper display of affection then", she says to them and hopes that it is not too obvious that this doesn't bother her. Quite to the contrary.

Later on when she is at home, she marvels at the fact that her son and his wife seem to have moved on from being almost completely estranged from one another to being their old, annoyingly lovey-dovey selves within the space of five days. If Edith is to be believed, it has actually taken them only two. Had she been in Robert's shoes, had she been accused so unjustly and treated to horribly, it would have taken her weeks if not months to forgive Cora for that. If she had been in Cora's shoes she wouldn't have accepted Robert's innocence so easily. He did insist on using the titled doctor instead of the one that knew Sybil best. She'd have held a grudge in both their steads and she wonders why they don't. It is obvious why Cora doesn't, she is an American. It is more difficult with Robert. But then she remembers how much Robert is like his father and she isn't sure whether her husband would have held a grudge. He wasn't prone to it in general. She still misses him terribly. Every time she sees Robert with Cora or Mary with Matthew she feels a tiny pang. It doesn't bother her, it is part of life and although she still doesn't approve of Robert having married an American (regardless of how fond she might have become of Cora) she is glad for both her son and granddaughter to be married so happily. She realizes that Sybil was married happily too and suddenly she feels almost unbearably sorry for Branson, no Tom. She might not have been too happy about Sybil marrying a servant but at least it was for love. She was married to her husband for over thirty years; Tom was married to Sybil for less than two. She decides to help him find his place in the world. Didn't Matthew say something about the estate manager not wanting to work with him? Maybe that would be a job for Tom. He seems to have hands-on experience when it comes to farming, he must be highly intelligent (otherwise Sybil would surely not have fallen in love with him), he is a good friend of Matthew's and he is family. She must get Robert to agree to this. She has no doubts that Matthew, Mary and Cora will all be on her side. They will convince Robert. And Tom.


End file.
